I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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