i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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