her vagine was all disorganized.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
