if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
