If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i think i have two assholes
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
