There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize