Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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