I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
