i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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