Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
