can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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