i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
