Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
