I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
