Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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