took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
