Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
