I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
