Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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