i can't believe i had my finger in that
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
