I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize