How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
