Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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