hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
