I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
