Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
