let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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