I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
two words...techno handjob
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
