If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
