It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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