I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
