They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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