32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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