so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
