actually, I'm a sock model
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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