ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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