I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize