Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My penis needs a shock collar
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
