you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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