He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she smelled like a LAN party
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I deserve this hangover.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
