kristin has been a bad kristin
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wish you could order shots online.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
