another moral hangover. fuck.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
