the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
