you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
