So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
