Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
zippers are such a cool invention
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
