This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
