i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
