My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
