apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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