I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Drunk is not a location!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
