so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
