and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
