sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
