Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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