No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
