ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
