Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
