I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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