I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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