and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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